So Long Summer…Hello Schedule

Hello Bravehearted Beauties! Thank you for reading my heart on depression and for sharing your brave and beautiful hearts through comments and emails. I don’t write for a large audience, but let me tell you, when you’ve put yourself out there and are feeling all raw and exposed, it sure is nice to hear from someone! Thank you for that gift.

When you have the gift of articulating what others feel but can’t put into words themselves, it’s both a blessing and a burden. I’m pretty sure I’m still recovering from what one of my hometown heroes calls a vulnerability hangover. Dragging dark things into the light is risky business. It puts you in the line of fire. I know one well known writer who had to take her post down…just to recover from being rubbed so raw.

So why risk putting yourself out there? Why be brave? Because this world needs light. You don’t have to write a blog or go on tour as an author or speaker to be a light. Mostly, it happens right where you are in the everyday moments of life. We are light for our children, our spouse, the UPS guy, the checkout lady, the stranger you “accidentally” bump into on a crowded grocery aisle. Let there be light!

Here are my light bearers on their first day of school yesterday:

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I thought I was ready. Two girls in middle school. I can do this! I love teenage girls! I’m a no drama mama, so we’re going to make it through the drama zone with grace and goodness, right girls? {Wink!} I thought I was ready because they’ve been with me almost every minute of every long summer day. I love that, but at the end, I was feeling like it was time. Time for this mama to enjoy the quiet she craves.

But it turns out, I’m not ready. I never am. Not only did I lose my best barn helpers {meaning, I have to feed, water, collect eggs and figure out why a chicken is limping all on my own today}, but I’m all alone with no plan. This didn’t used to scare me, but when you’ve battled depression, being alone for too many days in a row with no plan to connect with a friend is dangerous. Been there. Done that. Not going there again.

For those who love being alone, I get you. The ability to sit quietly without distraction or entertainment is a beautiful gift. One of my favorite new blog friends, Jennifer, recently said, “I know God isn’t just in the quiet, but He made me to need it to feel most like myself.” Amen, sister!

But if you know yourself well enough to know that too much alone time is dangerous {for me, that means several days in a row of not connecting or interacting…days of not speaking a word between 7 am and 3 pm}, let’s be brave together. Let’s not wait for someone to invite us to the next thing. {Sometimes introverts aren’t invited because people know we’ll find every excuse to say no.} Let’s be the one to invite. Let’s be givers of life and light!

And when your best efforts fail today? Be brave and try again tomorrow. I tried to find someone to walk, have coffee or breakfast with me today. Not one single yes. Did I try everyone I know? Of course not. A few unavailables can feel like a million to some of us, so I just decided to try again another day. I’m choosing to write today. The key for introverts or those prone to isolation and depression is to remember that someone’s “not available” today isn’t a personal rejection for always. {The enemy of our souls loves to spin that lie. Speak truth to yourself. You are already fully accepted!}

Stay tuned for ways that I’ll be stepping out of my comfort zone this school year. The Lord has planted some seeds; now I just need to stop freaking out and say YES TO LIFE! In the mean time…

Here’s to the best barn helpers ever: memories from our last night of summer!

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I didn’t know where this post was going when I titled it. Not your typical back to school post! But then again, I’m not your typical girl, and neither are you!

Let’s be brave with our hearts today!

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  • Julie - Hi Linsey!

    If only there weren’t thousands of miles between us, I would love to grab coffee with you when my kids start back at school! 🙂

    I loved seeing the pictures of your family enjoying a summer evening on your farm together. What a dream come true! God is so good and faithful. Can’t wait to see how He encourages you to step out!

    Blessings,
    ~julieReplyCancel

  • Gail - Linsey, You inspire me! Thanks for dragging dark things into the light and encouraging others to be brave hearted. Your writing expresses how I often feel but just don’t have the gift to express them in words….so I am blessed by reading my heart desires written by you. God knows what I need at the time your post come. 🙂

    ThanksReplyCancel

  • Gigi - Sweet Linsey, thank you for your vulnerability and light you give! Your words bless my heart. I am grateful you wrote today!ReplyCancel

  • Betsey - Love your beautiful spirit and blog. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. xxxxReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Camp - Okay, I’m reading your posts completely out of order, and now I’ve got to go and catch up on the one I missed yesterday. Love to you friend–and cheering you on as you listen and step forward. Yes, being brave is uncomfortable, for sure. But wow, you’re good at it. Thankful for how you encourage us on–wish I could pop over and have coffee with you in two weeks, when my kids are in school! That would be so awesome. But, yes, let’s do a phone call soon instead . . . CA to TN!ReplyCancel

  • Sadie - Hi Linsey, thank you for this post. I am right where you are as an introvert (described me to a “T”!) and as one dealing with depression. I needed everything you said, and like you, I am determined to step out and reach out more. The pictures of your beautiful girls and the farm beauty feed my spirit! I am a country girl who is temporarily living in the suburbs! Bless you, and please keep sharing! You give me hope!ReplyCancel

  • aimee - Oh honey I’m so sorry that you didn’t get any ‘yes’ replies to a walk or coffee or catch up today. I know how hard that is.

    Are you an active ‘texter’ and instagrammer? I know its totally random but I have found that some days just being able to txt a buddy and receive a reply – or exchange a little banter or a pic message really helps me. Mostly I hate technology and how ‘connected’ we all are, all the time.
    But on the cusp of a grey day, where I need a ‘friend’ both of those have been so useful. The picture of a crochet’d turtle to make me smile, when coffee is a no can do. Little massages form a friend as we both go about our chores. These are little morsels of sanity that are worth cultivating.

    Also – your girls are beautiful 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - How blessed are we that you didn’t haven’t stopped writing. I feared when your LLH blog closed that you were stopping blogging all together. I find this blog and the words to write to be such a blessing.

    Sending a prayer for you across the many miles between us.
    ~ Lisa from Indiana ~ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - How blessed are we that you haven’t stopped writing. I feared when your LLH blog closed that you were stopping blogging all together. I find this blog and the words to write to be such a blessing.

    Sending a prayer for you across the many miles between us.
    ~ Lisa from Indiana ~ReplyCancel

  • Nancy - Definitely know what you are saying! I just took my oldest back to college and the youngest starts her senior year of high school tomorrow… I can so easily fall into the trap of cloistering myself and barely ever leave the house! I have decided that I am going to try to get out and do more, and even accept those invitations that I usually back out of once the date draws near!ReplyCancel

  • Andrea - Wow!!! I am so glad that I stumbled upon your blog. My family has just moved to Franklin from Orange County, California. We have been here for two and a half weeks…My girls started school just after we got here. I had a little bit of a break down taking my Kindergartener to school one day. I can so relate to being an introvert and getting stuck in the house. I know it’s a blessing to be here and we moved on faith. It’s just hard to step out of that comfort zone. Thank you so much for your words…It makes me feel as if I’m not alone.ReplyCancel

  • First Day Beauty and Blues » Bravehearted Beauty - […] doing this for the first or last time! I checked over a few other first day posts {2012, 2013, 2014…wow they’ve grown!} just to see if this year is any […]ReplyCancel