My dear Bravehearted Beauties, how I have missed you! Do you know that even when I’m not here, I think of you? It’s crazy, right? I haven’t even met most of you, but God keeps you close to my heart. I don’t even know all of your names or how many of you are here, but God does, and through Him, my heart feels a connection to yours. I wonder how you are, where you are, what you’re facing in life, what beauty you’re hunting in the midst of brokenness…and so many other things that only God knows.
And I know you wonder about me, too. Especially during times of silence. Given the vulnerable things I’ve shared here over the years, a natural thought or concern would be that I’m either battling depression, spiraling into some old trauma, or tanking in my marriage. And as a dear friend recently pointed out, the title of my last post (three months ago!) was When Your Life Feels Stuck in Good Friday. I can absolutely understand why some of you would think I’ve been stuck ever since. I’m so sorry I left you with that!
The best way I know to show you how I’ve been in the last few months is to do something that feels vulnerable for me: share these photos my daughter took of me at the beach a few weeks ago. I’m not entirely comfortable being photographed or sharing photos of myself, but I want you to see what God has been doing in me. I want you to see the life in my eyes, the smile on my face and the peace in my spirit. I feel very much myself…the truest me. A welcome restoration!
So where have I been? Why haven’t I written? Here it is in a nutshell: I’ve been living in a really big, beautiful God story! It’s the best story I’ve ever known in my life. It’s a story that will blow your mind, and I can’t wait to share it with you! But as it’s been unfolding, I have chosen to be fully present to it, which means I haven’t been online at all. No blogging, no Facebook, no Instagram. I didn’t intend to drop the internet cold turkey, but that’s just what happened as I stepped into the story God has been writing. I want to tell you everything, but it’s going to take a whole lot of words over a number of posts. I hope you’ll join me as I try to tell the story. I have no doubt it will stir your spirit and invite you into deeper places with God in your own story.
There is one other reason I’ve been quiet here. As much as I love to write my heart out, I also want to honor people involved in my story. And someone I care about wasn’t ready for me to write the story, and I wanted to honor her. My desire is always for good, not to hurt or harm. But God has told me very clearly this is His story. It doesn’t belong to me or to anyone else. It’s His and is designed to give Him glory. And that’s why I have to tell it. He’s gifted me as a writer so that I can tell His story.
In January, just before this part of my story unfolded, I heard God say, “I need you to tell your story so I can tell Mine.” I said yes to God, but didn’t know how to proceed. I tried to start writing my story the old fashioned way: by hand in a leather bound book. But then this new part of my story unfolded just a few weeks later…a story that helped to make sense out of so many painful parts of my story. A story that feels like restoration and redemption. So I stepped into it. The story isn’t finished, but it’s time to start telling it.
Stay tuned! I’ll be back soon. Hopefully after the holiday weekend. A huge hug and thank you to all of you who’ve waited for my return!
With much love,
P.S. There’s something I hear God speaking over you today: you were meant to live in a great story. If you feel stuck in the messy middle as my Good Friday post suggests, know this: your story isn’t finished. And you aren’t stuck. You are being invited into a great big God story this very moment. He’s writing a story that is MORE than you can ask or imagine…even when you can’t yet see it. Believe, dear heart! Redemption and restoration of every broken story is what God has for us!