Last week, I woke up to this:
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The sky and the ground are all the same color.
And while I can usually find beauty in anything, all I could see in that moment was dreary upon dreary. It looks more like a black and white photograph than full color. And while black and white is striking, it’s not what I wanted to see that day. So I went to the back porch where I knew I’d at least find a pop of red on the barn.
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You know you’ve hit your winter wall when snowflakes lose their luster.
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Not even sheep in the show shots could lure me off the porch that day. Oh, I knew there was beauty out there, but I didn’t want to be the one to hunt for it. Not this time. Already been there, done that. And how many sheep in the snow photos does a girl need anyway? {Can you hear the cranky in my spirit? On my birthday, I was loving those sheep in the snow and never thought I’d tire of photographing them. Sunshine helped.}
I got droopier as the day went on. No amount of coffee, comfort food, wood burning fires, time in my PJs or reading of good books was enough to revive my spirit. Beauty hunting is always a sure-fire way for me to find life, but I didn’t want to go out into the cold this time. So I crawled under the covers, but sleep wasn’t what I really needed. {After two rounds of winter depression, I’ve learned that crawling under the covers in the middle of the day isn’t life-giving unless I’m sick or sleep deprived.} I could feel myself slipping into a gray hole right there under the comfort of my white linen sheets and knew I had to find a way to fight for life and light before the darkness consumed me.
So I got up, got dressed, called my husband and asked if he’d drive me down the historic road near our farm. He loves to drive and loves to fight for life, so he packed it up and came home like a man on a rescue mission! As we drove down the road and hunted for beauty, something in my spirit shifted. I could feel it, and my husband could see it. I started smiling and giggling…giddy over the life and light I found. Each time I lifted my camera, I felt like I was swinging my sword at winter…beholding its beauty instead of wilting under its weight.
Beauty rescues again!
If daffodils can fight for life in dreary winter weather, so can we! And how much more we have to fight with than these weather-dependent flowers! We have swords for our fight! Mine is a camera, but did you know you have a sword of your own? Wield your sword, Bravehearted Beauties! Fight for life! Do you need help discovering what your sword is? Or help using it to fight for life? I’d love to help. I’ll be thinking about how I can do that through writing. In the mean time, you can read more about how I wield my sword here. I’d Borrow my sword until you find your own. Give beauty hunting a try.
Fighting for life for you and with you,
P.S. Thanks to the Braveheart who rescued me..with a Jeep as his stallion!
Dianne - I have never been depressed. I have felt a little low at times but my personality is a glass half full and I thank God for that. I am so sorry you have to go through these bouts ,they sound horrible. I love that you have learned to get out and fight it. Your photography is beautiful and artful. I hope you have these pictures hanging in frames throughout your home. 🙂
Bravehearted Beauty - I love that you’re a half glass full person. We half glass empty people need the half glass full people for sure! I’d feel super victorious if I could make it through an entire winter without sinking, but for today, I’m celebrating that I’m able to get out of bed and fight for life with a camera in hand. Oh, and I wish I had more printed photos. I’m terrible about doing anything with them. Someday…. 😉
Roberta - Yes, there is much beauty to behold. When I feel the gloomies hanging overhead, from experience, I have learned that lifting up praise and thanksgiving will knock the darkness out. There have been times when I was having a pity party that no one else wanted to join..Lol! God is gracious and always quick to show me the condition of my heart. I am thankful for that.. We need to count our blessings each day.. Be encouraged Bravehearted Beauty!
Bravehearted Beauty - Counting blessings makes a HUGE difference. Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts” was a game changer for me. I don’t always write them down, but being present enough in the moment to count all the blessings brings life for sure!
Amanda - Hey Sister! I’ve been low, low, low–that dark horrible place–and the sun has been hiding her brilliance behind grey, low-hanging clouds. Insert all the questions about self-worth, value and purpose. Boooo. But that sun will shine. A new day is coming. HE IS FAITHFUL. Daffodils can do it–and so can we. Just read the end of Hosea–and he talked about blessing us with lilies {think beauty, and strong roots–up to fifty flowers per single root, a flower that doesn’t require support to stand, tall and proud}, the olive tree {oh the abundance–and the beauty–but the incredible fragrance that comes with the blooms is indescribable}–and then he finishes off with the cypress–a tree that is evergreen {ever faithful} and is virtually immovable, unkillable–with a root system that rivals the branches above the ground. A balm to my soul. Spring is coming, dear one. I love you oodles and oodles. Linsey-girl, fight it hard!! I’ll be fighting it here, too!!!
Amy Kinser - With many things weighing on my heart and mind the last several months, my oldest daughter reminded me of something we heard recently… “Jesus, give me Your smile”. I have said that often lately. It works!!
Listen To The Daffodil » Bravehearted Beauty - […] when you step into those places with any kind of passion or purpose, you can expect opposition. I swung my sword at winter the best I knew how, but at some point, we’re all in need of a new season. Sunshine and […]