I’ve been waiting all week to share a new song with you. Written by God’s very own songbird. I don’t say that because she’s my daughter. I say it because her words are inspired by God. And I think He wants to sing this song over all of us today.

{Email subscribers: visit the blog to listen.}

The lyrics:

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Wow.  Talk about beauty from brokenness! This girl has seen all kinds of broken since our move, but on this day, I knew she has also seen the beauty.

On the same day that I said goodbye to Boaz, I showed up for the school talent show, and this is the song she sang. It was my first time to hear it. Tears. And as I listened, I remembered some of God’s promises to my heart in the midst of the messy: I am doing a new thing. I will redeem every broken place and make it beautiful. Don’t be afraid of your pain…or afraid of letting your daughters see it. I’ve got your daughters. And I’ve got you. 

Sometimes it felt like the pain in our marriage, the collision of our childhood stories, the depression and deep sadness was spilling out all over the place. What if it spilled out all over our daughters and drowned them? What if all they would ever know of life in our home was pain and brokenness? I could worry and be overcome with fear…or I could trust God. Those felt like my only two options. So as God whispered promises to my heart in the darkness, I chose to trust that what He said was true.

One of those whispers came after my oldest overheard a particularly painful fight with my husband, followed by loud sobbing on my closet floor and almost a full day in bed to recover from it all. {This has happened more than once.} Not exactly the picture of peace, love, safety and security that I want my daughters to feel in our home. But after reminding me He has my girls, God whispered this particular word to me regarding my oldest daughter: she will write songs out of this place.

She’s seen first hand that it’s messy to come alive. But how beautiful that she’s also seeing whole hearted people pieced together from shards. {These lyrics astound me. She said they were written out of what she’s witnessed in JD and me these last few years. Beauty emerged from broken.}

God has often whispered another thing into my heart regarding my girls: they will see restoration and redemption of your marriage in front of their very eyes. This is particularly comforting on the days that still look so messy. And the days where I’m tempted to lose hope. We all have those days. But God. He is doing a new thing. Sometimes we just can’t see it. But we can choose to believe it!

Welcome to the world of faith over fear: choosing to believe what you cannot see. But God. He sees. And we can choose to trust the One who sees. He’s even called The God Who Sees. {Read Hagar’s story.} And one thing I know for sure: He sees YOU.

I know it’s hard to trust God with your pain. And even harder to trust Him with your children and what they see and experience in the midst of your pain. But God. He is redeeming it ALL! This song was all the proof I needed. May God will use it to encourage you in your own story today.

He sees you, Bravehearted Beauties! And He is making ALL things new!

With so much love and faith,

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  • Grandmama - She sings from the Heart and I am so very proud of her~~GMMReplyCancel

  • Beth - Tears in my eyes – so beautiful!ReplyCancel

  • Sherry - Hi Lindsey, Hallie is beautiful and her musical talent is strong. Music is a powerful way to express emotions and send a message. Thank you for sharing! Can I just tell you, your words speak volumes to what I am feeling lately. I am so thankful for your willingness to share your vulnerability openly, as I know first hand, it is not easy. Life has brought difficult times for my own 12 yrs old daughter and family right now. Through all that life has thrown at us, I have come to realize a lot about myself. Instead of living in fear and worry, I am now learning how to trust in God instead. With that said your posts speak deeply to my heart and give me the hope and strength I seek. God is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Wishing we lived closer to sit with a glass of have tea and chat! So sorry to hear about your loss of Boaz ~ receive the hugs I send your way.ReplyCancel

  • Bobbi - So beautiful! Thank you for sharing!ReplyCancel

  • Becky Mullowney - Amazing song. Great lyrics! She has really grown in her gifts and still so young!ReplyCancel

  • Holly Mathis - wow, i am catching up on your blog and i could have written this about the kids overhearing things and concern about how we are scarring them…i hope they also see restoration and redemption and grace and beauty from these ashes not just sadness and hurt. thank you for being real..i will be honest, your honesty has made me uncomfortable at times but now i can fully appreciate..i love your heart LinsReplyCancel

  • My Two Year Old Son Has Herpes … Sort Of | hello, MAMAS | Herpes Survival Kit - […] They checked him for Hand Foot and Mouth too, and decided it must be the Herpes virus as they'd never seen ulcers like this on a child so young. After the painful fight of administering the $110 numbing gel all over his mouth …They checked him for Hand Foot and Mouth too, and decided it must be the Herpes virus as they'd… […]ReplyCancel

Hello Bravehearted Beauties. I have some sad news: we had to say goodbye to one of our beloved barn kitties on Friday. Sweet Boaz. He added so much love to our farm and family. He was was part of a three kitty rescue operation two summers ago. He was snuggly from day one. A total lover. And when Aslan joined the farm, he and Boaz became best buddies.

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This time, Boaz can’t play. Aslan says goodbye.

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We found him under the bushes on Thursday evening and knew he wasn’t well. A very sudden sickness and decline. We wanted to believe in healing and asked God for a miracle. Lord knows we’ve experienced enough heartbreaking loss on the farm. I wanted to see Boaz restored and batting his paws at Aslan’s nose. I wanted to see him curled up with the other two at my back door in the morning. I wanted him to rub up against my leg and purr his little heart out.

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I’ve never prayed for a cat before. And honestly never imagined I would. Because I wasn’t an animal person. And do you know why? Yes, there was the mess, but there was something even deeper: I didn’t want to risk loving something I could so easily lose. I didn’t want to risk having my heart broken. I didn’t want to give my heart away to someone or something that wouldn’t stay around long. I didn’t want to be vulnerable and broken by love. Remember the C.S. Lewis quote I shared after losing Lavender?

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On Friday morning, I was vulnerable. I gave Boaz all of my love and prayed for him to be miraculously healed. I felt a little crazy. And hopeful. And strangely okay with putting my hope and heart on the line for a cat. I even dared to ask some friends to join me in praying and believing that God could work a cat miracle that morning.

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And only an hour after putting my whole heart on the line, Boaz took a turn for the worse. I kept praying. And believing. And secretly wondering what would happen to my heart if he didn’t make it…if God didn’t come through with the miracle I was asking of Him.

But God. He’s always doing more than I can ask or imagine. {Ephesians 3:20} As I drove back to the farm without a healthy, healed kitty, my heart was sad. Because I loved that sweet barn kitty. And that’s when it hit me: maybe the miracle God was doing wasn’t the one I asked for. So I asked God to show me, because with all the asking, I believed a miracle was happening. Here’s what I shared next:

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And you know what? I meant it. I’ll take it. I don’t want my old, safe heart back. I like this new and vulnerable heart God has grown in me…even though it hurts sometimes. So yes, I’m brokenhearted over another loss, but I’m thankful for the way God used Boaz to expand my heart’s capacity to love and be loved. It’s a miracle that I rescued, loved and grieved a cat. It’s a miracle that I risked my heart in love and dared to let my heart to be broken.

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{So thankful for this photo, Paige!}

And if all of that weren’t miraculous enough, I surrendered to the mess of love a little more when I got home from the vet. I walked out into the pasture and let a shedding, skunk-sprayed Buddy rub all over me. I let him love me…mess and all.

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A few more favorite Boaz shots:

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I wish you could peer inside my heart and see how much it’s grown. Because if you could really see that, I think you’d know that a miracle has happened. I wanted God to show off by healing a cat, but the truth is, He’s showing off by healing my heart. 

Thanks to all the beauty and the brokenness, I’ll never be the same. And that, my friends, is why we can embrace the broken places. Because they change us and make room for deeper, more beautiful things than ever existed before.

Believing in the beauty of it all,

Linsey signature 100pix

 

 

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  • Suzanne - Linsey- I am so very sorry for your family’s loss of sweet Boaz. Our pets are so precious to us, and I share in your sadness. It is true that to love is to be vulnerable and it is to worth it. We lost our sweet puppy Lucy to cancer this year and she was merely two years old. It is amazing how much joy and love animals can bring to our hearts, and yes they get broken in the process. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I will be praying for God’s love to comfort your family during this difficult and sad time. Bless you!ReplyCancel

    • Bravehearted Beauty - Thank you, Suzanne. I can tell that you know this kind of vulnerability well having lost a young pup to cancer. I’m so sorry.ReplyCancel

  • Suzanne - Oops- It is true that to love is to be vulnerable and it is SO worth it!ReplyCancel

  • Amy Avery - Linsey, I am so very sorry for your loss of sweet Boaz. I want to thank you for sharing this story of how God used one of his beloved creations to help open up your heart further to love. Thank you for being vulnerable and for allowing us to see God’s light and love shine through. You are in my prayers for peace and comfort. I hope you don’t mind if I share this post with others.ReplyCancel

    • Bravehearted Beauty - Thank you, Amy. Sometimes I wonder why I can’t just share photos and a few words, but it always seems like God has a story…things He wants to speak though whatever is going on at the surface. He’s always up to so much MORE.ReplyCancel

  • Rie - My heart goes out to you. I’ve held so many of my own in my arms as they took their last breath. Irving Townsend wrote: “We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle…”.
    And I’d add that we are better for it. Welcome to that circle, Linsey. You belong here.ReplyCancel

  • Kathryn - And I hope Aslan will be comforted. Beautiful post.ReplyCancel

  • Becky Mullowney - What an awesome post in memory of Boaz and praise to our God for working in His mysterious ways! We found out the hard way a few years ago…the best way to get rid of skunk smell on animals is to bathe them in betadine. Cuts the smell immediately. Thanks for sharing your heart and all of your animals with us!ReplyCancel

    • Bravehearted Beauty - I’ve heard several tricks to get rid of the smell, but they won’t let me come near them with any kind of spray. I know it sounds crazy to those who have indoor dogs (I have one of those, too), but you’re not supposed to bathe this kind of dog. They produce their own natural oils that repel things better than any bath. But the skunk smell stays around for weeks!ReplyCancel

  • Sherry - I am so sorry for your loss. I just love all of God’s critters and it is so sad to hear this. This is a beautiful story and pictures too and I thank you for the beautiful message!ReplyCancel

  • Maritza - Wow. This hit me where it needed to. Praise God for experiences of others that encourage and comfort. My sweet kitty Kainah has been missing for 2.5 weeks. I have prayed to God about this, asking for his safe return. But God impressed me that whenever I thought about my cat I should pray for a friend of mine who is lost spiritually, left her family, and using prescription drugs. Let’s just say the past couple of weeks I have prayed a lot more for my friend as I think of Kainah often. Well today I went to prayer meeting and found out that my friend is back home this week!!! This is miraculous as she has been gone for months. Kainah is still not back yet. But got used my lost kitty to prompt me to pray for His lost kitty, my friend. I love how you have so many beautiful pictures of Boaz. Documentation of life through pictures is so important. Thank you for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Beauty Emerged From Broken » Bravehearted Beauty - […] the same day that I said goodbye to Boaz, I showed up for the school talent show, and this is the song she sang. It was my first time to […]ReplyCancel

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Happy first Friday in May, Bravehearted Beauties! {Can you believe it’s May?!?!} I just wanted to pop in for a quick hello and encourage you to step into something brave this weekend. May is a great month to do a new brave thing. Need inspiration? Just look to all the brave and beautiful things blooming and growing outside your window right now!

Three years ago, I had no idea I was a Bravehearted Beauty. Or bravehearted anything. Yet there we were buying a farm house, selling a city house, and packing boxes for a move from our big city hometown to a small farm in another state! Talk about BRAVE! {I may need to do a three year anniversary post. Sometimes, I still can’t believe we really did this!}

Three years later, I’m saying yes to lots of brave new things. Most of them are small, but as I said in my first ever video, all those little brave yeses add up to really big things in life. Your small yes today gives you courage for a bigger yes tomorrow. This is how you become brave: you start saying YES when everything in you wants to say NO. And then you say yes again…and again…and again. And yes, there’s still fear, but that’s what makes a brave thing BRAVE! {More on bravery and fear in my second video.}

On this first day of May, I’m off to do another brave thing. I’m headed to a women’s retreat where I only know one person. And when I signed up, I didn’t even know if she was going. Joining a big group of strangers for a weekend is a big yes for an introverted homebody, but now that I’ve learned to recognize that “be brave” nudge in my spirit, I can’t seem to ignore it. So here I go…full of fear and bravery all over again.

How about you? What will your brave thing be this weekend? Look for it! Say yes to it! And come back and tell me about it!

Let’s be brave together…again!

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Hello Bravehearted Beauties! I have something different for you today: a reading of The Angel That Troubled The Waters. It’s a one-act play written by Thornton Wilder in 1928, and I think it holds some rich treasures for us today. {I forgot how much I enjoy reading plays!}

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In summary, a physician comes to a healing pool hoping to be cured of his melancholy. The pain in his heart is too much for him, and he wants to be free of it. The angel comes to stir waters, but tells the physician that healing isn’t intended for him today. It sounds heartbreaking until you hear the reason. {If there were more to this play, I’m believing we’d see the physician embrace the power of his pain and ultimately, receive his healing. I love to imagine how a story ends!}

Presenting…

The Angel That Troubled The Waters.

 

{I found the script here.}

My favorite lines:

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And…

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Talk about a perspective change! There is purpose and power in our pain. Have you ever thought of your pain that way? What if we embraced that power and gave it away more freely? What if we could be honest about our pain, without fear that it would sink or shame us? What if we believed our wounds have the potential to bring healing?

In response to The Angel That Troubled The Waters, Brennan Manning wrote this in Abba’s Child {one of my all-time favorite books}:

“If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others….But when we dare to live as forgiven men and women, we join the wounded healers and draw closer to Jesus.”

Who is willing to be a wounded healer? Who is willing to trust that light will shine out of darkness? Who dares to believe that there is beauty in brokenness? Only the bravehearted. And you, my friends, are the bravehearted. Yes, you.

YOU ARE BRAVEHEARTED BEAUTIES!

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P.S. Need a song? Listen to Though You Slay Me with John Piper layered on top. Bravehearted Beauties, your pain is producing a particular glory. And you won’t miss out on it…even if you can’t see it right now. The healing waters are being stirred for you.

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  • Rene' Taylor - Thank you Linsey!

    I appreciate you sharing these inspiring words of wisdom. It helped me in my time of pain. I am recovering from surgery and your healing thoughts and words were very helfpful to me today. I have four dogs. Three Poms and a Yorkie. Most of the dogs I have rescued and in turn they have rescued me at times by warning that danger was close or hearing things and letting me know things when I did not know. My little guardians and forever friends. Thanks for the beautiful pictures of your dogs. Someone told me the other day at least if I am still in pain I an still alive. I thanked God for another day. I am happy I found your Blog. I was reading tongue and Cheek blog and saw your l blog one day so I signed up. Thanks again, Rene’ReplyCancel

    • Bravehearted Beauty - I am so glad that any words I write ors peak would be used to bring you healing, but so sorry for the pain of surgery and recovery. I know that pain, too. I love what you said about your rescue dogs. That you rescued them in their need…and they, in turn, have rescued you. I think that’s what we can do for each other if we’re willing to be needy and vulnerable. Beautiful.ReplyCancel

  • The Beauty of a Broken Heart » Bravehearted Beauty - […] {You can listen to Wilder’s brilliant short story in this post.} […]ReplyCancel

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Hello Bravehearted Beauties! Is it really Friday?!?! Whew! What a crazy week! And not in the typical crazy busy kind of way that most of us feel this time of year. {Especially those of us with school age children.} It was more like crazy physical pain that had me asking my neighbor where the nearest emergency room was. I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it through Monday night in the comfort of my own home.

But here’s the really crazy thing: I felt peace in the midst of the pain. {That crazy Philippians 4:7 kind of peace!} I had a strong sense that my pain wasn’t something a hospital could heal. It felt like God was doing a deeper work…and the physical pain was a sign that I needed to rest and let the healing happen. I felt like God was doing some kind of invisible open heart surgery, and I just needed to lay myself down and trust Him do whatever is needed. I can’t even believe I’m saying that out loud on the internet. {I’m pretty sure my parents might think I’ve lost my rational, analytical, intellectual mind right about now! Wink!}

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Oh, and just so I don’t leave you hanging, I never went to the emergency room and am feeling much better today. No need to worry. {Though if you know a fantastically gifted holistic practitioner in Nashville or Franklin, I’m still looking for one who feels like a good fit. I’m missing my amazing team in Houston!}

So if I’m okay, why tell you about the pain? I asked myself this very question. But the pain isn’t the point. It’s the lessons learned in the midst. And while I can’t unpack it all just yet, I have this crazy feeling that a few of you may need these words sooner than later. So I’m just going to trust God with my words and hope to give you whatever He has for you.

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A few lessons learned in the pain:

1. Rest is a battle position. Have you ever heard that expression before? It’s new to me, but it feels so true in my spirit. Rest goes against our natural instincts in the midst of a fight…or in the midst of a busy season. But when God calls you into rest, it comes with a promise that He will fight your battles for you. Remember the words I shared here a few weeks ago? The Lord will fight for us; all we have to do is be still. All we have to do is REST and let Him fight? Really? What if we really believed that rest is a battle position? How might that redeem your view of rest? Would it give you permission to rest? Maybe even a calling to rest? When God calls us into rest, I’ve learned He’s up to something good. And big.

2. Your pain doesn’t heal you; God’s does. His stripes, his wounds, his blood shed for you on the cross…that’s what heals you. It is finished. No need to carry this emotional pain in your spirit any longer. No need to stuff it down until it manifests in your physical body. {Physical pain can serve as a “check engine” light for hidden emotional pain.} No need to believe that pain is all you’ll ever know. Healing has come in the person of Jesus and remains available to us by the power of the Holy Spirit. I’m not exactly sure how to go about healing in His name, but I know Healer is part of who God is, and I know He has power to do far more than most of us ask or believe.

3. Pain isn’t part of your identity. Some of you have been in pain for so long that you feel like it’s who you are. But only God can tell you who you are. And not once does He say pain is how He sees you. You may feel pain, but pain doesn’t define you. Pain may be your teacher for a while, it may be your path to purpose and passion, it may be the thing that increases your dependence on God, or the cry that brings you to your knees before God for the first time. But it doesn’t have to become you. Ask God for some new words about who you are. I know He’d love to tell you!

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If you’re still reading, I honor you. Most of us are afraid of pain. I was. We’re afraid of our own pain and we’re uncomfortable when others are in pain for too long. We don’t know what to do with it. We don’t know how to fix it. So we run from it, hide it, try to prevent it or avoid it. But pain doesn’t have to be a scary, bad, forever thing. It can be a gift that produces far greater goodness in us than we could ever know without it. Beauty from brokenness. 

I don’t wish you pain. I wish you healing. But I also wish you revelation and honesty about whatever pain you carry…so that deep healing can come into every hidden, hurting place. Here’s what you need to know today: you are not alone in your pain. You are never alone. Jesus was called “Man of Sorrows” for a reason. He knows every kind of pain. And He promises to be particularly close to you in your particular pain {Psalm 34:18}. And not to keep you there, but ultimately, to bind it up set you free {Isaiah 61}. Now THAT is good news!

One last thing for you. My theme song this week: It Is Well. Enjoy!

Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see

And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

YES GOD!

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  • Carol Dickinson - Beautiful thoughts. God centered and God driven. Reminds me of John 3:8… “The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but can not tell where it came from, and where it goes: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.” Beautiful.ReplyCancel